... alone but not lonely ...

How it would be for someone to live in this world, with the knowledge that no one wants him to live. No one needs him ... not even one.

How it would be for someone to love himself, with the realization that no one loves him. No one cares for him ... not even one.

How it would be for someone to try to beautify the person within, when no one believes that he is even presentable. No one is willing to accept him ... not even one.

STILL, he would like to be moving with the wind, may be because he is hopelessly hopeful or courageously discourageous.

It would be like knowing that he does not possess any quality which people may want to , forget aspire, even see. Like denying the truth that he is unwanted.

It would be like living the day with feigned happiness outside and genuine sadness inside. Like forceful smiles struggling to mask brimming tears.

Straining to enjoy life with cognition that death is more peaceful and relieving.

I think, best solution would be to divide oneslf into TWO. One, cheering the`other when the other falls in spirit. Former, sharing the pain when the latter is about to break. First, egging him on when the second wants to give up.

I think, it will be like living alone without allowing oneself to be lonely ... gripping the otherself with teeth-clinching desperation in fear of losing the moorings.

I feel like living like this. I NEED TO.

Epilogue: Just another sad and lonely evening.