Art-of-Love-Making
[Come on, ..make the bAbEs run for U..]

I have come across many a boys who are not forlorn but definitely lovelorn, almost desperate to make any gal 'his gal'. It has much to do about the socio-economic conditions of India. Yes, unlike west, here still having a girl friend can make other guys envious of you. Though I myself don’t have any gal friend and infact not even a close friend who is a gal, I have comprehended the pyschology of it. Yes, it definitely is an art in its own. I am cent percent sure that if you follow it success will walk a few steps closer to you.


Why, am I doing it. Partly, because I feel love & friendship is the greatest religion of the world. And its perfectly natural for a boy to harbour tender feelings for the opposite sex. That's the intention of the nature. So, I am in a way helping to the nature's cause. Besides, because I conform to the view of Khushwant singh, that the rising incidence of crimes in India can be attributed to the sexual frustration. Yes, the more you talk about something, the more you experience something, the more tolerant and informed you become. Sex is not a taboo thing, unlike what they have all this while wanted us to believe. Its one of the most natural things.

So here my friend is the mantra of making gal frnds.

Are you familiar with Kite-Flying? Most of the Asians must be aware of it. I proclaim, "Art-of-love-making is akin to Art-of-kite-flying". In other word, making friendship with a gal is as simple and as tough as Kite-Flying.

Be Witty to the Kitty
Gal usually like to be in a company of a street-smart talker. Who can relate to her understanding level and yet make her happy with his repartee. It in now way means that you need to be a scholar. Nope. Believe me, if you try to show-off her by being too pedantic, you may actually put her off. Your talk must be fun-filled and light-witted. Also, you need to have a bit of understanding of how open is she her in views. In case she is open-minded, you can be on a song with her soon. But incase she is a bit prudish, you also should keep the burqa on your innate desires, till you gain her trust.


Enjoy yourself and be natural. If your demeanour keeps reflecting the thing which is going in your mind - "all men want one thing" - forget friendship, it may earn you even ill-repute among the women. Not even a hint should be there that you are a despo. Someone said that gals have sixth sense, yes its partly true, so you have to put up an act as if its natural for you to banter with gals and that they enjoy your companionship. "You can fool one person one day, one person every day, every person one day but you will not be able to fool every person every day". Its correctly said and has relevance in our context as well. You cannot pretend to be witty long, if you are not. And no one likes pretension, more so the gals. So you have to be perfectly natural. The key is to Njoy Urself.

Improving your communication skills would always gain you some brawny points. Try to be a bit of poetic and artistic in your talks. Humour is one thing which rings the bell in every heart.

Razzle dazzle 'em
Praise the gal. Remember, no matter how much a gal says that she does not like vacuous praises, she actually craves for nothing but to be praised. It does not mean that if some one is very fat, you compare her with Jennifer Aniston. You need to leave a little room of hopeless hope. Like you can very well say 'Oh ooh, you remind me of cute renee zellweger in Bridget Jones' Diary'. Take care that you dont mock her physical looks. It would be like shooting in your foot. You need to walk a very tight rope. So be a bit of realistic in your flowery comments. And yes, dont sound soporific. Talk should be every time a bit new. Like every time you say that 'Oh ooh, you remind me of cute Renee Zellweger in Bridget Jones' Diary' it would actually piss her off giving yourself the impression of a dumb insincere crow. Ergo, vary the color, flow and content, but stick to the idea. No matter how unabashed it is, she would actually believe it or would like to believe it. And if she herself doubts it, the more she will find reasons to come near you, to actually get convinced of it. This hypothesis is inspired by the thought 'every time a woman sees the mirror, she finds her comparatively less attractive'. I have myself tested it and I found it kicking.

'Just Friends': This two words are very powerful no matter how much hollow it may in reality sound. Most of the friendship between a gal and a boy starts with the statement 'Lets be friends, just-friends'. This is actually a sign of assurance that her privacy would be completely protected and honoured. Females value their privacy and share it only with their most trusted ones. This is actually your goal. But only-eyeing-the-goal might frighten her.

'Every-Little-Matters' so never let go out-of-hand, the slightest of opportunity to show that you genuinely care for her. No matter how much trivial a thing it occurs to you, express it genuinely. Like she wore a new dress, compliment on it, 'hey, you look cool in this outfit, or that the dress grows on you very well' You can also go a bit extra mile by saying that 'You look gorgeous' - but this should be conveyed covertly, else she might feel embarrassed.

If she has undergone a hairstyle change, find time and occassion to tell her it has come out very well . Infact if it actually is stupid, it helps your case as you would be one of the very fews whom she would like to hear to belie her self Be wary to notice the small acts of her smartness and exaggerate it every bit in praise. Given that gals themselves give very few praise-worthy chances, you should be on your toe to spot them first and congratulate her.
Sometimes when she herself is not giving any such chances, marinate any particular act of her, pepper it, spice it and then present it to her as if it was something very intelligent you have come across. Make her believe that her folly is one the rarest upstanding traits noticed. If you are able to do it, it would be like a shot in the arm. Some guys can be so perspicuous to actually notice every different ear lobe the gal wears. It gives two cardinal impressions, one that you have an eye for the detail and the other that so much you care for her.


Show some respect too, eh?
Have you heard of this line - 'I admire you and respect you for every
bit of the pesron you are. I love you for what you are, as-it-is'. This line has made many romantic movies become super duper hit and even today can make every lovely heart warm. Most of the times we believe that it is love which is the most important ingredient of any healthy relationship. Its wrong. Respect comes first. Whether its friendship, companionship, marriage, etcetera, respect always should take prominance over love. A relationship full of love but sans of respect is doomes to fail in the log run, but lovelorn relationship strengthened by mutual respect will stand its test of time. You need to be very careful on this. It just doesnt mean that you need to be a sycophant. In fact you can point her slight weaknesses but it should be done in privacy, with a humour, and with caution that it doesn’t hurt her. If you manage to do it, you are close to be bracketed in 'close friends'.

Hey, you must be wondering didnt had not guy initially said that 'taking the gal for a ride' is tantamount to Kite-Flying. Yes, I admit. So till now whatever you have is seen is the part of the play where you give lee-way to the Kite and help it gain more height. In hindi its called 'dheel dena', meaning letting the Kite do whatever it wants to do and also, helping it. But if you keep on letting it giving the freedom, it would get lost or come down. So, you need to control it by pulling in. This action presses the Kite against the air and so, now if its let-off a bit, the force from air will propel it more. In a similar vein, in the art of love making its required that you let-off and pull-in as and when required.
Till now, what we discussed was 'letting-off' part where in the gal was made to feel as the princess with every tantrums, every 'nakhreyn', every demand of her being given its over-due respect. This is the phase of courtship. But this seldm gets heady and the gal may become over-demanding. The end result is that she may start dis-respecting you thinking that she is your world. These are the times when you need to remind her that she is just one in your big world. At times, if you have become very emtionally involved with the gal, it may become real tough. You need to follow path of non-attachment here. Show her that you dont give a monkey shit to her if ever, she shows that she dosent care of you. Dont worry, nothing to fear that she would go away from you or may be run away to any other guy. No. Nothing of that sort will happen. Gals take time to become friendly but once she has, she takes even more time to become break it. And, shh .. a secret, every gal wants a boy who is wanted by all. They feel coveted of the possession. So, at times you need to show that you have other
female friends who can keep you company and that you are in no way a despo. Remember, all this should not be explicitly said or overtly displayed. It is a fine art to make her feel that how much you are wanted by others but that you give much attention to her. Now, if she asks why? you need to say 'You like her'. And that you think that she can be a good friend of yours. That's it. This is what you are doing, making her believe that she has found a treasure (too expensive to be lost) and one, that cares for you.

Peeping Tom
A very important step and maye be the most effectual. As you spend time with her try to get as many personal secrets out of her as possible. So try to listen to her problems, her past experiences and her feelings. On (many) occassions it may drive you crazy inside, and all may sound insanily gushy-mushy. But hey, try to feel it or pretend that you are actually feeling it. Dont over-act or over-react. And when asked to judge her past demeanours, always some how vindicate her. Even if its her folly, make her feel that she did the best she could and it was all fine. The more secrets you are able to wriggle out of her, the more she would begin trusting you and the more dependent she becomes on you. But hold on, don’t you press her to reveal her secrets. This may feel her circum-suspect of your intentions. Some times as time goes she would herself start revealing it, else you can nudge her in midst of some other talks, without letting her sense that you are on the prowl of her secrets. Also, a better way would be to make the move first. Share all your past experiences and make it believe true. This gives her an assurance that the boy his every thing and assures her that you actually consider her to be a close confidante.

Cited above are the ammunitions which would make you capable of striking a positive note with the opposite sex soon. Now its time to move from the starter to the main-course.

[An arcanum] “single gals go after money, married ones after true-love. And, very difficult to snare just-married ones”.

You need to strategise based upon the history of the game you are eyeing. Its just like picking the apt horses for the right courses.

Below I elaborate upon four broad type into which ‘game-of-your-hunt’ may fit into:

<0> Single and up-for-catch: Difficulty rating - 7/10.
The difficulty rating is 7/10 because the demand is high. Its not that gals per se
dont have an inclination for the guys, but because there are too much of sought-afters which pushes the ask-rate up. But then its a level playing field and a true competitor will accept the challenge.

<0> Single but engaged: Difficulty rating - 8/10.
Here, as the gal is already engaged, I must admit that you are a late starter. But still you have chances. If its an to-be engaged marriage, the hope still remains. So, start hunting by being 'just friend', become privy of her consent towards this planned marriage and then strategise accordingly. Remember, dont get impatient , if she finally gets married, and do something stupid which ultimately unviels your clandestine goals. Let it go, and pretend that you are happy for her. By this, you still have the a very potent chance of 'Extra Marital Affairs'. And the task may become easy if her marriage finally proves to be a disaster. Keep-in-mind, one man's failure is other man's opportunity. And nothing is bad, at all. In reality, you are just trying to satisfy the most basic need of a human being and inturn yours. And you deserve it, after all you worked so much hard for it. Yeah.


<0> Married for sometime: Difficulty rating - 6/10.
Its the easiest pray you can get. Keep note, no one is happily married. And more so, gals. Its said that gals reach the peak of their sexual urges in 30s and as most of them get married in their 20s, the fruit remains unattended when 'plum ripe'. The fun and enthu of marriage life vanishes by the end of second year. And what keeps them going is the sense of responsibility, kids, societal pressures, moral bearings and yes, less demand in the market.
So, here is the hopeful hope for you. The ultimate possible possibility. And the first step is ‘the kids’. Make them friendly with yourself. Every time the kids run after you, chances are their mumma would come after. So, what are you waiting for?, time for action. But hey, dont you jump on. Remember, first strategy and then clinical execution.

<0> Just Married: Difficulty rating 9/10.
Oh man!, the task here is definitely carved out. The gals in her whole life time look the most radiantly beautiful when just-married. After all, dont you look content when you are sexually satisfied. This is the time when, all this while pent-up reservoir of energy finds its natural path to flow freely. So they look brimming with energy and thus, more sexually-seductively-temptingly-irresistibly-overwhelmingly-fleshly-provocatively-arousingly magnetic. Its okay, if you got wet and orgasm-craving. Boy, its the most difficult rated game not for nothing.

“A good impression on a gal is always a good investment. You never know, when you get the return”.

Epilogue: Wrote it, just for fun. Hope you enjoyed it!