GOD - LOVE - LIFE

I am venturing into this forbidden zone (applicable to me) of writing, because I inadvertently or advertently entered another forbidden area (applicable to me) of emotional torpor just few days before. I have not been able to come out of it completely. Why? Probably we will come to know a little later.Yes, I must admit that it was a helluva of experience to undergo such an upheaval of emotions. For a moment I was on the top of the world, at the highest point of optimism, at the zenith of ecstasy, at the pinnacle of the passion, but suddenly the next moment I fell into an abyss of remorse, a chasm of gloominess, a craven of unbearable and inexplicable pain (which was sweet in its own sense). This is none other than the oft-quted, all-pervasive, most revered word called LOVE.

I would like to define LOVE as Liberation Of Violent Emotions. And emotion is nothing but energy in motion. For me LOVE is a verb and not a noun. I don’t know whether it treally exists in its true sense or not or is it just an euphemism coined by this Selfish Animal called MAN to give his ugly interests a façade or graciousness.

Yes, I call MAN a selfish animal because he is so. There is not even a single action which man does which is not self-centered and not intended for the satiety of his personal desires. Joy is the prime reason behind every action of his. This joy may not necessarily be monetary. It depends what is the priority of his desire at that very moment. Some derive joy in renunciation, some enjoy it in sacrifice, some enjoy it by being good where as some enjoy it by being bad. Actually there is no act which is good or bad. Its all defined by MAN himself for himself. Its all intrinsically driven from selfish emotional, physica, mental, spiritual etc. needs of his.

Every scientific development or endeavour which MAN is undertaking is for making his own life simpler and comfortable. Man propogates peace not because he is peaceful by nature but because he knows that if thee is peace in the world he is safe. If the person in front is good, it is to his own advantage.

I started by intiating LOVE and where have I digressed to. Its because this is what I am. I myself don’t what I am and what I will be the next moment. I don’t have any clear Idea who I am.

If contemplated seriously, I am actually a Chameleon. Yes one who adapts himself to his surroundings soon. Why? To impress people around him so that they will throw some bits of praise towards my ever-craving soul. I am a highly impatient fellow, who does not have enough couraze to tread his way carefully and thoughtfilly. I am one who knows that he is worthless, clumsy fellow one who wants to usurp success without having tried hard by deceiving people. I am a wastrel, one who enjoys wasting time. I am one who is consistently inconsistent fellow, who is himself not aware of his aspirations and is driven by the crowd. Also, I am one who wants to govern the life of the people around me in my own way. One who wants his whims and fancies to be the unquestionable law of the land which every one should abide by. I am a Narcissist.

But then why am I like this. Is it because I want to be like this. In all my senses NO. Then why I am so. May be because of my past experiences. Your presnt is nothing but a reflection of the past or a reflection how you allowed your past to mould you. This experience which you have gone through make your present and the presnt experience will shape up and determine you in your future. I was one who ws considered worthless by all except by my Grand ma and Grand pa ( they were the only ones who genuinely loved me and who knows thi may be out of pity). And deep inside I too knew that I am worthless (or may be by the time I became conscious of my senses, this had already got into my psyche).

But this could not eat into my drive to be powerful. To be one who and only who will be the last hope for the people around him. To whom people will come come for their needs and who will earn their admiration and praise by satisfying them. One who is Omnipotent, Omniscient and Omnipresent. The desire to be the almighty.
These two contrasting emotions combined to give birth to my present state. One who wants to appropriate glory as soon as possible. One who is always craving for appreciation, recognition without actually owning it.

But then who made me like this. Who is responsible for what I am now good or bad? I believe that the people of whole world can be broadly divided into 2 zones based on their similarity of nature and deeds (not to say in exact proportions). Draw a circle and divide it from middle into parts by lazily drawing a curvy line. Now shade the one half black leaving a small part of it unscathed. This half can called the zone of devils (wrong doers). And in the other half leave the entire part unblemished except a small part blackened. This half can be called the Zone of Deities (right doers). The Zone of devils depicts the conscience and the nature bad people where as the Zone ofDeities depicts that of the Right people. Catch is that even the morally correct people has a small part of immorality in them and every morally incorrect people has some part of morality in him.

But then what is this morality and immorality. Didn’t I tell that man is a selfish animal. Yes, this morality,immorality, ethics, etc. are all figments of Man’s imaginations. These have been devised so that he can live his life enjoyingly. Religion is nothing other than a dogma of rules and regulations which are meant to secure the life of humanity. The talk of virtue is all craps.

Every person in this world is acting. In everyday vicissitudes of our life we do nothing but act. We all arre perfect actors religiously following the script fed into our unconscious, conscious and subconscious mind. We seamlessly pick up a variety of roles, so to say that of a friend, a brother, a sister, a son, a daughter, a mother, a colleague, an employee, an employer, etc and act it out immaculately. Just think for a moment and introspect aren’t we all acting? We know this but yet we do this because every one does this and so we have convinced ourselves that this is what is our natural demeanour. But its not. We have so much habituated to this type of living that it is difficult for us to even tell ourselves tat we are not our natural selevs.

Some say that this is what is life. This is how GOD who created us wants us to behave. We will come to GOD later first let us delve into life. Didn’t some say that LIFE is a gift from GOD. But I say it is a curse. Yes, had life been a gift of god there would not have been so much suffering in our lives. Did we choose to come onto this earth. NO, we never, we were forced to do so. Did we choose our parents, our brother, our birth place, our body. NO. MAN is an intelligent being. He devised his own fallacious theories such as LIFE is a gift so that he has an alibi to cater to his selfish needs in a legitimate way.

Oh I allured you by initiating on the most alluring topic of LOVE and instead has beguiled you to read all sorts of weird things. But didn’t I tell you that I am consistently inconsistent. And it has got so much ingrained in my character that it reflects in every thing I do.

Love IS THE GREATEST THING TO HAPPEN ON EARTH. Who said? Music is the food of love. Who said. We should respect food. Who said? All wee said by us, an intelligent selfish animal called MAN. We can see a connection between these three sayings. W e all want LOVE, MUSIC and FOOD so what did we do. We legitimized these things by creating such sermons. Isn’t it selfishness. No, they will argue that LOVE is not our creation but the creation of GOD. Even man is the creation of GOD, some would say a small entity or integral part of GOD himself.

So, every thing seems to have a beginning from this word GOD. Let me make myself clear that I am a great believer in GOD. I belive in all gods ( or to keep things simple 1 GOD). Every day I beg before him to fulfill my one or the other desire. I am a great fatalist. I believe that everything has already been planned and well-documented by HIM,, why? (will come to it later). So there’s no point in trying hard. I cannot say this, because who will be the person who will keep trying to meet his goal and who wont is also well – documented. He has everything planned. I don’t believe in him out of respect but because of fear (and so do others). We all know that he is all powerful. We propitiate him, praise him to get all our needs fulfilled, again I repeat it may be any of our varied needs. We are so weak an entity that we cannot do away without him. But ten why re we like this?
The answer is because he has made us so. GOD is nothing but can be considered a eing who wanted some some thing for his recreation. He wanted to have some fun and nop doubt he is all powerful. So what did he do. He created planets, moons, stars, galaxies, milkyway, black hole,.. etc. But then it was something very plain and unexciting. So now he concentrated on a planet called EARTH. He created oxygen, nitrogen… etc., rivers, clouds, fire, wind, .. etc. Still it was not kicking. So he created microbes, bacteria, viruses, fish, animal. Still it was not providing him much entertainment. So he created MAN who will constantly provide him great drama. He created MAN out of himself and gave infinitesimally small magnitude of his own power but with limitations. That’s we are a bit more powerful specie compared to other species. But then this was a risky endeavour. Creating some one having even a googleth of his own power was risky because may be when this specie gets multiplied over the time can result into his own ‘FRANKENSTIEN’’. Then there is a chance that his own existence may get threatened. So, he wanted to play on a safer side. He said it to himself that ok I will give MAN a bit of power of himself but will also give some weaknesses so that he remains obsessed. He also thought of making the specie self-destructive so that it doesn’t keep multiplying always. And so came what we call the ultimate reality ‘DEATH’ into being.
So, what did he do? He programmed us in such a way that our life will not be for eternity. He planned different stages in our life to ad excitement to the game. He gave MAN, eyes, nose, brain, hands as assets but also gave stomach, tongue, skin, etc. as liabilities which would keep him obsessed with its requirements. He made us in such a way that we would require food to keep us alive and so our much of energy and time in working for it. That’s why I don’t find interest in food. Because every time I sit to eat it reminds me how weak we are. He would be so much pleased when he sees us eating and taking pride that his plan is working as inteneded. We are wasting our time in this wasteful of activity when we should have been trying to out do him. He gave us hunger so that we are not able to concentrate or direct our time and energy towards doing anything that will challenge him. And not only hunger he gave us emotions, he gave us the urge to cry, he gave us the desire to laugh, to pander to our senses. He gave us vanity, selfishness. He pitted us against each other. The prime motive behind all was to make us self destructive. Because he made us selfish, he knew that MAN would every moment try to reach his supremacy. To replace him.

Most of our time in life is wasted in indulging to ourselves. And we humans those people successful who could indulge themselves the most. Oblivious to the fact that this all has been made by him. We are all acting and he is enjoying the fun.

First 15 years we remain depenedent on our elders, then the next 30-35 years when we have the energy and senses in which we can do things which can challenge him we are obsessed with stuffs like love, happiness, sex, money, sports, etc. Then by the time we realize the futility of our acts we have already reached age of 50-60 years and are sapped of enthusiasm and verve to do something to out do him and leave ourselves to his mercy.
But he has also given a slight power to us which if brought into constructive attempt to collectively challenge his omnipotence can result in tangible outcomes. This is evident from the very fact that we have already done things which used to be considered his sole propriety. This may be amusing him as well as fearing him little. Any way he must be enjoying the game as its becoming dangerously exciting day by day.


We reached moon, are venturing into other planets, are able to stroll in the space.We have learnt to to duplicate ourselves (genome). We overcame so many diseases which posed a threat to the mankind. Thes were nothing but obstacles created by him to divert our attention from challenging his supremacy. When polio was overcome, cancer was introduced before us, when cancer could be controlled AIDS has been thrown as the threat. These are all his moves. And he is enjoying it. He is finding it exciting to see that his own created Lilliputians are trying to usurp his own greatness. On one side we are providing him drama by acting what we are, showing him LOVE, HATRED, etc and on the other part we are also devoted to nullify him.

He created all the characters for his own amusement which play different types of roles as and hwen he wants them to be. That’s why all human beings are unique. No two peron is same in every respect because why would he want it to be. He introduces new characters for some change. Because he wanted to have a character like that of Sachin Tendulkar, he introduced him. Because he wanted a character like Schumacher he introdued him. He wanted to have a character called Mahatama Gandhi so he introduced him, because he wanted to have one like Osama Bin Laden he cast him.

He even made believe people visualize him differently in the name of Ram,Jesus, allah , etc. This would be giving hijm so much amusement seeing people create him differently and fight for it. He is so powerful that he has control over every persons lives. His skill of man-management must be great.

But even if we all unite in all our senses and start working with the single purpose of usurping his position will we be successful. May Be. But then he would have definitely kept a contingency plan ready. Suppose after billions of years henceforth, MAN finally comes very close to reach him. Then at that moment I feel he would have no alternative but to devastate the whole universe and to start a new game afresh. May be this time he will like to have Square shaped Moons, Square shaped suns, Plate like planets, etc. May be man will appear on the earth as an old man, grow young and then leave this world as a child. It can be anything, all depending on his own whims and fancies, how he wnts his new game to be.

This all may seem ridiculous to those who doubt his existence on the very first hand. Who are atheist and are living their live as well as we are. They are infidels but don’t seem to be undergoing any punishment by him for not believing in his existence at all. And these people will question that if GOD existed then wouldn’t he like to make them also fall to his feet. And it doesn’t seem to be happening. Why? The point is that we are not able to see through his plans. He wants us to be confused whether he finally exists or not. The questions like ‘IF GOD EXISTS CAN HE BUILD SUCH A HIGH WALL OVER WHICH HE CAN NOT JUMP’ may seeeem to be logical to us but what is our level of understanding. We are minusucles infron of his colossal presence.

Epilogue: This was written when I, for the 1st time, took writing seriously. Before this I had written some poems in Hindi but that time I used to write for some end-result not as a thing of enjoyment.