Thursday, February 28, 2008

'i feel u'

in this starry night, amidst coltish zephyr
i think you...

your smile-lit face, those rabbit-teeth
behold me...

red rosy lips, marigold-like cheeks
tantalize me...

those twinkling eyes, musical nictation
magnetize me...

fibrils fluttering jauntily,
add to the magic...

moon appears belittled, sky looks empty
i am privileged..

universe is waiting for a glance
of this virtuous beauty...

i want to hold onto this moment
this is my life...

just keep me held with your feeling
dont go away... never ever.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

aehsaas


tumahre saath waqt bitana mujhe achcha lagta hain..
baatein kuch na bhi hon, lekin baat karna pyara lagta hain

pehle ki baat aur thi jab sab bhool kar sirf tumhe socha karta tha..
ab tumhe sochne ki jaroorat nahi parti, ab har soch me tum ho

pehle tumhe paane ki junoon si thi.. ya shayad tumhe khone ka darr..
ab to kabhi bhule se bhi nahi lagta ki tum humse alag ho..

ye jo samay humne saath bitaye hai, mai shayad hi bhool paunga..
tum agar kabhi door chale bhi jao, tumhari aehsaas shayad hi juda ho payegi..

har harkat tumhari mujhe yaad hai, koi baat tumhari bhoolti nahi..
ye soch ki hum shayad saath na honge kabhi, kabhi khayal me aata nahi

tumhe jaan kar hi jaana hai ki jeevan kya hai, iska maksad hai kya..
tune hi sikhaya hai asal khushi kya hai, asal gum hai kya

tumhi ne bataya hai, ki jeena kya hai..
ye tumhi ne to bataya hai ki maut mithya hai..

wo meri 'natkhat gudia', tu yaad karey na karey kabhi mujhe..
sun le ye ki teri soch, tera pyaar mere sang rahega hamesha

bas ab to ek him armaan hai in chahat bhari aakhon ka..
ki tere chehre se ye mushkurahat na gidne paye

kyonki, teri khushi me hi to meri khushi hai

~ tere liye

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

e-n-l-i-g-h-t-e-n-m-e-n-t

... is a moment when a soul has realized that

  • water tastes sweeter than cadbury
  • listening is more important than speaking
  • one should, at times, question one's own conclusions, and even reasoning
  • struggle is important than result
  • each being is unique, yet, all are same
  • result should be used just to (re)embark on the next challenge
  • every relationship has a purpose in life
  • being a passenger is equally important to being a driver
  • reality (and any one close to it) is beautiful than fantasy
  • witnessing is equally important to performing
  • puprpose of life is to just live and attain moksha
  • death is a logical corollary to life
  • all answers lie within; each one in its own is the complete universe
  • all work, cleaning the gutter to conquering the moon, is equally important and satisfying
  • nirvana is not a phase but a moment; and that such moments are randomly intersperses amidst those of confusion
  • each one should accept his life and live it fully
  • Key to happiness is to accept the as-is, be comfortable with it, and to patiently work towards one's what-if
  • communication does not need words
  • no one is a genious in anything, its just the manifestation of how much one focusedly interests in a thing
  • every one is a genious in his own way
  • questiononing is important than answering
  • silence is more mellifluous than music
  • stweardship is more important to leadership
  • forgivesness is more effective to punishment24. Continous learning, from all and everything around, should be the motto of each life
  • the only question to which there is no answer available in any book is-
"why does this universe exist, why cannot be there nothing,why cannot be a state where even nothingness has no meaning"

Monday, August 13, 2007

Khatri's Chhatri
[ek simple kahani]

I have just returned from watching one of the beautiful movies in the recent times. And yes, I was not alone J. The cinéma vérité is another crafted gem, for the common man to savor, from Vishal Bhardwaj’s treasure after OMKARA but contrastingly simple. If OMKARA leaves you awe-struck savvying how can one limn-out such complex emotions so realistically, The Blue Umbrella leaves you mesmerized stomaching how can one portray such impeccant emotions so naturally!

I was completely transfixed and lost in the story. If you ask me to tell the story, it would end in a wink. Here it goes - once upon a time there lived a comely gal in a small village of northern india who, on an ordinary day, is gifted a not-so-ordinary beautiful Japanese blue umbrella which soon catches envy of the whole village with each one trying his bit to possess it but none as concupiscent as Nandlal Kishore Khatri - the village shop keeper - so much so that having failed to buy a similar kind, he agrees to raise his child-servant's salary in lieu of the coveted umbrella, aaaaaannnd soon goes the umbrella missing but no one has a clue whose done it. Biniya becomes as forlorn as a young demoiselle deserted by her lover on the d day and nothing appeases her, neither the schadenfreude-laden phoney empathy of the villagers nor the sincere plea of her brother, finally on the spark of firm suspicion she lodges a complaint against Nandu making Police raid his shop in-front of the whole village only to disappontment of biniya and to the ire of Nandu who on this ignominy swears to taste the pickle only after he has bought a similar umbrella, aaaaaannnd so arrives a similar umbrella … only a red one!

Soon, Nandu becomes the cinesure of the hamlet with same attention being bestowed on him as the old owner and this leaves Biniya only more unhappy. In revenge, the conceited Nandu also stops selling things to girl’s house. However, fate has his turn and quite a quirky one. In elation of being honored to preside over as chief guest of the village akhada (as a mark by the villagers to undo the wrong which was involuntarily done by his house being raided and all suspecting him to be the theif), does the mistake of addressing the crowd in heavy rain which finally removes the red color of lie over the incandescent blue of truth.

Having been caught red-handed, the whole village outcasts Khatri, so much to the extent that as a viewer you would plead to forgive his foible - no one invites him to any social gathering, people evade him contemptuously publicly alluding to his thievery, no one buys anything from him, even free, with fear of being polluted by association to him in any form and kids jeer at him with humiliating slogans – “Nandlal kishore, Chatri chor” - and that is what happens, Biniya sheds all her anguish breaks the tacit fatwa by voluntarily buying biscuits from his forsaken shop and also consciously forgetting her Umbrella there. Nandu seeing the umbrella first goes unrestrained with the first-love-like joy, then delirious with anger aaaaannnd finally collecting his virtues runs teary-eyed to return it to Biniya recognizing this to be his the god-sent last opportunity to redeem his self-esteem. Biniya, with all-forgiving joyful tears in her eyes and completely-accepting generous smile just says - "ye meri nahi hai, by chance". And you are just left high and misty in the crescendo - only wanting more!

Music only adds more life to the story and lyrics, of the one and only one Gulzar, makes you admire his ever-expanding frontiers of soil-flavored imagination.

Pankaj Kapoor, like the old wine, only grows finer movie after movie, and makes you feel that there are some artists who are really inimitable - comparing them to anyone else is an injustice to the perfectionist and even more belittling to the one compared!

And finally, hats off to the multi-talented perfectionist – The Bhardwaj, one who is soon becoming the touchstone of finesse. I foretell today that he would one day surely conquer the Oscars, that one day he would leave an indelible stamp of his mastery as the most sublime cinematographer and as the finest enrapturing story-teller.

The tale had me so much occupied that I forgot that I was not alone – and quite happily JJ
Epilogue - Could not stop myself writing after watching this pleasant flick.

Saturday, August 04, 2007

...on crossroads, with each road ending on its own…

I don’t know why but these days I am completely lost and aimless. I feel I am in dire need of the passion and drive which I always possessed but which has just evaporated for the past few some months.

I don’t know but no matter whatever I decide to do or feel like doing I instantly find it purposeless - it’s like my soul is craving for one thing (which I don’t know what), my mind is pulling me towards the other and the body is acting in an entirely different direction. I can see myself being torn-apart but don’t know which way to organize the things. I am clueless. I have lost the sensibility to make sense out of things.

It is so enthusiasm-sapping ... the bewilderment is ruining me.. all my ambitions (that I till now had) lie beside on my bed unattended.. and when I see them it never feels like my own... I have lost the only trait which kept me going all these days – competitiveness.

I have tried to juggle with this conundrum but each time I attempt to sort out my mess I find myself at the dead-end of faculty to come up with a genuine answer. All my quest for the answer end in vain.

What should I do?.. what do I want to do?.. which road should I take to?.. why am I doing what I am doing?.. what is my purpose?.. why do I exist?.. these questions keep haunting me every now and then.. nothing seems to hold me even for five minutes.. and each time I think not to think and avow to myself to remain motivated, the very next moment the veil of optimism starts to slip-off my grip and I allow it to become naked..

I want to do everything and I am doing nothing… just flummoxed by the no of options I have or by the no of tasks I want to balance at a time.. I am struggling with all my ambitions… I am struggling to say ‘no’.. I am struggling in identifying my correct aim.. to be specific I am struggling in being honest to myself.

If 'loss of sustained enthusiasm is the greatest form of bankruptcy' than I am bankrupt.. I am dead!

Epilogue: capturing my feelings during my days of confusion

Thursday, July 05, 2007

... alone but not lonely ...


How it would be for someone to live in this world, with the knowledge that no one wants him to live. No one needs him ... not even one.

How it would be for someone to love himself, with the realization that no one loves him. No one cares for him ... not even one.

How it would be for someone to try to beautify the person within, when no one believes that he is even presentable. No one is willing to accept him ... not even one.

STILL, he would like to be moving with the wind, may be because he is hopelessly hopeful or courageously discourageous.

It would be like knowing that he does not possess any quality which people may want to , forget aspire, even see. Like denying the truth that he is unwanted.

It would be like living the day with feigned happiness outside and genuine sadness inside. Like forceful smiles struggling to mask brimming tears.

Straining to enjoy life with cognition that death is more peaceful and relieving.

I think, best solution would be to divide oneslf into TWO. One, cheering the`other when the other falls in spirit. Former, sharing the pain when the latter is about to break. First, egging him on when the second wants to give up.

I think, it will be like living alone without allowing oneself to be lonely ... gripping the otherself with teeth-clinching desperation in fear of losing the moorings.

I feel like living like this. I NEED TO.

Epilogue: Just another sad and lonely evening.

Monday, February 05, 2007

'a-just-another-face'

There are times in one's life when a nondescript face becomes the bioscope of one's aspirations. No! Actually, to be more correct, it becomes resurgent (if not revised) hope launching 1000s of new DREAMS.

I am besotted by one such. Now.

But is it only the exterior beauty which has possessed me? No. Infact, with this I have finally realized (and convinced) myself that the 'pure ringing laughter' is the first thing about a gal which makes my heart melt for her, and go i'mowshunul.

Ofcourse, the 'intelligent talker' who has the emotional sense to take every light-mannered prank with the right sense of approval (or disapproval) and sometimes revert with an equally-smart (or better) retort always makes my heart long for her.

And lastly, the 'independent energia' which keep patience with my impatience is what sufficiently enough to sign-up the deal.

She has an 'unconscious graciousness' in her. As a matter of fact, even her sudden brazenness has an inherent benignity (or am i smitten by her?). I somehow feel that no one in her company can be unhappy. More so, being able to share her unhappiness itself comes up with a joy attached.

Then, the ease with which she takes up the 'light-mannered taunts (or criticism)' speaks volume of her charatcter or confidence. Hey, do not take it to be a sign of diifidence, huh. Do that only to be KOed. The dame is tough, ok?

She is my barbie doll.. a living one!

Epilogue: This is incomplete as I am still to know her more.